All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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