Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
