bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
