watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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