I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
