last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
