I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
