What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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