Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize