I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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