And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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