Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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