How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
