omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
