Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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