You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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