dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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