Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my shit smells like andre
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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