Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
