last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
