Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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