i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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