No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's shark week go big or go home
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
