I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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