I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize