Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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