I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
