i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we're making bets on your personal life
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
