ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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