Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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