Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
