I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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