Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
