Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
