Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just pee around me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
