i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
