the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I love having hate sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
