Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
