he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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