you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
