Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize