Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize