see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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