its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
