Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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