I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize