Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
