I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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