We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
