did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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