okay pat passed out under dana's car
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize