Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
