i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
