So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
