Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Randomize
