Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
