He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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