So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
