And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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