your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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