okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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