naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
